Parenting is an endeavor that takes commitment, genuine love and cooperation between both parents. However, a narcissistic ex may not be able to cooperate in ways that would facilitate a traditional co-parenting approach, hence the need for parallel parenting.
If you have a narcissist ex, by opting for parallel parenting, you can greatly free yourself from their manipulations and create a structured environment where each parent can independently care for the children without unnecessary interference from the other. This approach minimizes conflict and allows for a more stable and peaceful coexistence for both parents and children.
When parallel parenting with an ex with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), the following tips can help maintain boundaries and better ensure the well-being of the kids in the middle of the situation.
Document everything
When dealing with an ex with NPD, documentation should become second nature, especially where children are involved. Ensuring that every interaction, communication, and agreement is documented can provide a layer of protection and accountability. Keep records of all conversations, emails, texts and any other forms of communication related to parenting matters. This documentation can serve as evidence in case disputes arise or legal action is necessary.
Focus on your child, not on your ex
Narcissists may try to pull your focus to themselves by instigating drama or conflicts. It’s essential to resist the temptation to engage in these power struggles and instead maintain your focus on what truly matters: your child’s well-being. Prioritize creating a nurturing and stable environment for your child, free from the chaos and manipulation that may be present in interactions with your ex.
Remove emotions from the parallel parenting equation
To protect yourself and your child from the manipulative tendencies of your ex, you’ll need to remove emotions from the parallel parenting equation as much as possible. This means approaching interactions with your ex in a detached and business-like manner, focusing solely on the practical aspects of co-parenting without getting drawn into emotional conflicts.
If your narcissistic ex poses a threat to you or your child’s well-being, it may be time to consider seeking full custody. By seeking legal counsel, you will be better placed to determine the best approach for ensuring the safety and stability of your child.