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Should I remain with my spouse for the sake of the kids?

On Behalf of | Sep 22, 2023 | Divorce |

You know that you haven’t been happy in your marriage for quite a long time, and you suspect that your spouse feels the same way. Still, you hesitate to bring up the “D” word because you have minor children together.

You wonder if it’s better for the two of you to stick it out unhappily until the kids have left the home. What is the answer?

Which is best for the children?

Of course, no two situations are identical so there are no cookie-cutter answers regarding what’s right and wrong when it comes to divorce. But there are some important points to consider. Certainly, if domestic violence has occurred even once, it is a good idea to begin planning your exit. No child is safe in a violent home.

But what about areas where it’s not so black and white?

What the experts say

Divorce is a destabilizing event for the entire family. Kids can initially react badly and, dependent upon their ages, parents could see some or all of the following in their offspring:

  • Regressive behaviors
  • Anger and depression
  • Lowered academic performance
  • Acting out in school
  • Attention-seeking or risk-taking

But alternatively, the kids may do better in the long-term when their unhappy parents split. The following can help ameliorate the negative effects of divorce in families when:

  • Former spouses co-parent well together
  • Both keep the children’s best interests foremost in their minds
  • Co-parents never speak negatively of one another
  • Parents work to ensure that their children’s needs are met, and that they feel secure in both homes

In short, both spouses must decide, individually and collectively, which course of action is right for their own family. It is always prudent to learn more about the divorce laws in the state of Illinois before filing for a divorce.