When divorcing parents are dividing their property in divorce, some make the mistake of including their children’s possessions. We say “mistake” because parenting experts caution not to assign these possessions to one home or another.
Children whose parents have joint custody and who will be transitioning between homes should be able to consider both parents’ homes their own. Think of a big roof over both of your homes. That is your child’s home, and they should feel free to move their toys, books, electronics, clothes, sports equipment and more with them – within reason.
Parenting experts also caution that children shouldn’t have to pack a suitcase every time they move between homes because they can end up feeling like visitors in both of them. When parents can afford to, it’s best to double up on relatively inexpensive items like coats, snow boots, games and even small electronics. Certainly, both homes should have bedding and toiletries for the child.
If one parent is remaining in the family home for the time being, while the other has moved into a small condo, it can make sense for larger items to remain in the larger home. However, the decision around where items remain shouldn’t be based on who bought them or gave them to the child.
Sometimes, parents include a provision in their parenting plan stating something to the effect that their child’s belongings are theirs, and the child can decide (assuming they’re old enough) where they want them to be. They may also specify what kind of items both parents will have available for their child – specifically if they’re things they need for school, like backpacks and uniforms. Codifying these things can help parents abide by their commitment.
Gifts from one parent should typically be allowed in both homes
This kind of agreement applies to gifts. That’s important to remember this time of year. A parent should never tell a child that they must keep a Christmas or birthday gift they give them in “their” home. Likewise, a parent shouldn’t forbid a child from bringing a gift from their other parent into their home – unless it’s something they don’t approve of, like a violent video game or toy weapon.
Once you take your child’s possession “off the table,” you can better focus on dividing your own assets (and debts) during your divorce. Having experienced legal guidance will help you reach a fair settlement.