Should you consciously uncouple?

A recent article asks if "conscious uncoupling" is a better way to divorce. The term has come to light after the announcement by Gwyneth Paltrow of her separation from husband Chris Martin. Rather than divorce, Paltrow described that her separation would be a conscious uncoupling.

Many laughed or decried her pretension, as she is known for posting on her esoteric tastes in food and furniture, but according to the article, there may be some merit in her position. Conscious uncoupling was a term created by therapist as part of a program to reduce the "trauma" of a traditional divorce.

For anyone who has witnessed a divorce between two former partners bent on a scorched earth policy would admit that there is little positive in that type of a divorce. If there are children from the marriage, the importance of keeping the divorce process as civil as possible, cannot be overstated.

Some argue that long-term marriage as a concept, at least for some percentage of the population, is outdated and more suited to a society where women had few opportunities outside being a wife and mother.

With longer life expectancies, a multi-decade marriage demands a great deal from the participants. If the idea of a conscious uncoupling can help some couples who simply are not equipped by personality or temperament to remain married to divorce in a less inflammatory manner, it may be worthwhile to investigate.

The important thing to consider is that no two couples or divorces are alike. If you feel the need to end your marriage, you should discuss with your divorce attorney the potential variations on process, to determine which method has the best fit for your marriage relationship and its ending.

Source: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, "Is 'conscious uncoupling' a better way to divorce?" Anya Sostek, March 29, 2014